How to Overcome Your Fear of Rejection

Over the last few months I’ve heard many people say that business is a bit slow. This may be true but it’s how you deal with it that really matters, isn’t it?

One of the questions I’ve sometimes asked in response is “how many “no’s” have you had in the last week or two?”

Very often it’s not many.

So here’s an interesting paradox. When business slows up a bit people often stop talking to other people because they feel down. They feel like a victim of circumstance. They become like the bunny in the headlights. So the story told over and over in the media becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But even at the best of times many people find excuses not to talk to people, if they think it means they might be rejected. And here-in lies the real issue. The fear of rejection.

People frame it in their minds that a “no” Request personal prophecy means they are being rejected. And people hate that and so they avoid it. Great strategy that one. It also means you’ll go broke. I learned about this behaviour right at the beginning of my sales career. In the sales office I worked in you seemed to have two kinds of people.

Those who shut themselves in their office and got on the phone. And those who made endless cups of tea, spent ages in conversation about everything and anything and generally avoided any situation where they might hear the dreaded word.

Guess who did the most business?

The fact is that you cannot hear “yes” without hearing “no”.How could you possibly go through life expecting to only hear “yes”. It will never, ever happen.

No and Yes go together. Just like day and night. You can’t have one without the other. The way to overcome this fear is to become as happy with a ‘no’ as a ‘yes’. Why pin your sense of self-worth on someone saying ‘no’ to an idea? When people say no it’s not rejection. It’s simply no. Just data.

When you are as happy with a ‘no’ as a ‘yes’, your results will go up. Often dramatically.

Why? Because you’ll always get what you want on every call, whether it’s a yes or a no. Consequently, you will cease to feel under any kind of pressure.

I won a brilliant piece of business a couple of days ago. I’d called someone up and asked for a meeting. I went along and I was completely open to what might happen. I would have been happy with whatever way the meeting went. I was just curious and simply placed my full attention on the person. My intention was “how can I best serve this person?” If no business had resulted it wouldn’t have mattered. I enjoyed meeting this person and they would have got value from the meeting anyway. So it was win/win.

Despite the economy there is opportunity everywhere. Everyday, with every conversation, with every person we meet there is the seed of an opportunity. If you expect it.

Your assignment – make at least one big, bold request for business each day.

Copyright of Dashfield Coaching and Development Ltd

John Dashfield is a leading business and personal success coach. He uses many powerful and unique tools that help business people grow profits, save time and lead more inspiring lives.

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